Silence woke me from my sleep.These awkward bubbles of nothing in the morning just before the alarm clock rings and everything starts making this horrible kind of crystal clear sense again.
My cold legs begin dragging my comatic body to the bathroom,where the last layers of my narcotic haze gets scratched off my twitching eyes as I wake,blinded by the sterile white of the bathroom tiles as gravity kicks the door in like an unwelcome friend.

Phantom sparks of familiar feelings rush through my body,the faint memory of a dream,and I try to remember,but it's gone...I'm alone,and it feels good at first...but then,this thorn in the back of my brain makes me think about you.This love is dead and rotting,turning into a tumor in my head,feeding on my pain,becoming bigger and blacker,poisoning the air around me with it's stale stench.

I have to catch the bus...

Grey crowds of people trap me like old,dusty statues swaying in the bus.
They're pushing me around,accidentally touching me and I'm desperate enough to imagine that it's your warm body that presses against me,but I'm sane enough to remind myself that you're not there.

Shit head.

A second of clarity returns to me memories of how our bodies turned into rivers of gold every time we touched,merging to the one,the complete answer to the constant pain of being alive - the memory of it,so overwhelming,it blinds my inner vision.

My mind wanders through a deep mist of thoughts,haunting one another until they dematerialize in a calming vacuum of apathy.I walk through the ashes of what once was logic and reason.My mind has crumbled under your steps,and the remains still soar around you in circles,like satellites,bathing in the thought of your existence...

The drugs should help it,but they never do.
I'm too weak to remember.
I'm too afraid to forget.